From Black and White to Full Color

The following Inspirational Story was taken from Silver Linings: The Other Side of Cancer, published by the Oncology Nursing Press, Inc.

I reflect on the fact that I almost died to show me how much I really wanted to live!

Before my diagnosis of leukemia, I struggled with depression. At times I felt it would be better to die than to live with the depression, mistrust, and anger. I felt bitterness toward everything. Most of the time I was in denial. Only my family and close friends knew of my despair.

Something happened to me when I was told, "You have leukemia." Everyone I personally knew who had leukemia had died. Suddenly, I wanted to live! The very doctor in whom I had confided about my depression and despair said, "This reminds me of the story It's a Wonderful Life." I finally realized that there are so many great things about life. I fought very hard to live. My usual negative outlook turned to positive energy. I focused on getting well.

I realized how many people cared about me when I received hundreds of cards and baskets of flowers and well wishes. My relationships with othersmy husband, family, and friendshave greatly improved in quality. Perhaps the most significant change is my renewed trust in the Lord. I always felt I had to be in control. Quite honestly, I had a difficult time trusting and turning my life over to Him. I learned the positive effects of the power of prayer firsthand, and placing my trust, without reservation, in the Lord made a difference for me. I have grown spiritually and have a stronger faith now. I reflect on the fact that I almost died to show me how much I really wanted to live!

Although we have had some personal tragedies since then, I can effectively cope and put them in their proper perspective. It has been almost five years since my diagnosis and bone marrow transplant. My life has truly changed from black and white to full color.

Rosemary Bloom

Bone marrow transplant survivor